Overwhelmed

Hmm.  To say that I am in over my head might be slightly an understatement.  Because I may be drowning here.

I really didn't know what to expect when teaching 4 year olds.  I have one.  That's about all I had for frame of reference.  I have no training in this age group.  All my training as really in high school.  I have taught middle school, which is really just slightly different than that.

But these guys.  Whoa.  So, a few things I have to factor in for today.  It was the first day of school.  It was a group of kids that have been probably going wild all summer.  So having them come back in today and expect them to sit still and listen might have been a little bit more than they could handle.  But really, is it?  I guess I expect JJ to do these things.  I expect him to listen, to be respectful, to raise his hand - does he do it?  I don't know.  But I feel like I have taught him at home that that is the proper way to act while he is with an adult in school.

I was defeated by 13 four year olds today.  Defeated.  At one point I almost threw in the towel.  What was I doing wrong?  I really don't know that I could pinpoint it.  But keeping my temper and frustration in check was really hard.  I don't know how the other teacher has been doing this for 35 years. 

So, what do I do tomorrow?  How do I make tomorrow better than today?  I really don't know that either.  Uh-oh.  I'm overwhelmed.  I just want to go lay in bed and think about all the mistakes that I made today.  And sit there and think about how I really don't know the solution to any of them.

BLAH.  Why?  I may be asking that for awhile.