So I feel as though since I became a stay-at-home mom about 5 months ago, that my life has actually become more complicated and less fun. Maybe less fun isn't the right word - less me. That's better. Me. I guess I always envisioned time home with the kids as time for our family to grow, get to know one another better, and to do lots of fun activities together. In what delusional world am I living in?! All of you that are stay-at-homes understand this. I think by staying at home we have gotten to know each other better, but not necessarily in the better way. We have done some activities, but living in MS really constrains the amount of activities that are available to us.
I really love my kids. I do. But I think I barely get by on sanity when they are both well. And this past week we have been to the doctor for both of them. JJ fairs pretty well and being 4 can tell you when something isn't right. Well, MJ picked up the crud from JJ and since she's only 1 CANNOT tell you when something isn't quite right. Insert frustration. Poor MJ is just not on her normal schedule and that has really messed her up all together. She can't breathe therefore does not want to eat or do anything but be a cling-on while she's up and scream while she's in bed. UGH.
So back to this 'me' thing. I know my husband probably feels the same way. But I'm throwing my own little pitty party right now. I have things I want to do, goals I want to accomplish. NOT HAPPENING when a child is sick. And a kid has been sick in our house for the last 3 weeks. I don't understand how we don't get sick. My amazing immune system cannot just let its guard down for one second so I can experience what is like to be waited on hand & foot? Or just sit and cuddle with something (preferably my pillow in my bed) and watch TV while I drift in & out of consciousness?! No, no - I'm not pitching a fit or anything, I'm just stating some facts that irritate the heck out of me.
So I try to sneak in things here and there that I need to do. Clean the bathrooms, vacuum the floor, go for a run - I usually get one in about every other day. I was suppose to go to an amazing meeting this morning and was really looking forward to it, but the antibiotic MJ is on just isn't quite making things better yet so I had to stay home. Stay home. I felt like I was an overachiever at work and never stayed home. And now that's what I do. Hmm.
So I'm done with my pity party. I have decided that by venting it out I'm just going to have to understand that this is the daily adventures in our household and I must learn to deal. If I need to get up at 630am to go for a run, then I better start dragging my bum out of bed and get out there. This felt good, I just hope the good feeling sticks.
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