What I Strive For.

I have reached a dilemma. Not often to I come to a fork in my life and I am without a clue which way to head. Well, I'm there now.
I was given the opportunity to stay home with JJ an MJ when we moved to MS. I jumped on it. I hadn't had the opportunity at all while they were just born to stay home with them and this was my chance. It has been, well an experience so far. And even though most experiences come with ups and downs, I feel like we've had more ups than others. We are doing ok financially. Not well enough where we can't really budget month to month. We are not putting any money away for the kids right now and we are not tithing to church like we feel we should. It just is fiscally not possible when we start looking at feeding a family of four, a mortgage, and student loan payments. I have even started being a coupon crazy lady to try and save money for us in that department. It has helped, but not as much as we need. Our cars are old and our kids continue to get older (and closer to college age).
Thus leads me to my dilemma. I interviewed for 2 jobs last week. One a teaching job at probably the toughest school in town (and by toughest, I mean emotionally toughest for the teacher to teach in). The other is for an assistant to a marketing director at a regional hospitality firm. Both seemed to go well. Haven't heard back from the teaching job yet, but did get the offer as the assistant to the marketing director. There's some logistics involved (like I'm going to have to negotiate my salary - blah), but I could start on June 1 working 8-3pm M-F. I could bring home enough money for the things I mentioned above (as long as the negotiations go well) and help provide for our family. But is staying at home providing more than anything money ever could? Dilemma.
I need to probably call tomorrow to give them an update on my position in taking or leaving this job. I need to make a few phone calls to see if daycare, etc would work out, but other than that, what to do. I feel as though God puts things in our lives for a reason. I love being home with my kids. And the more I think about it, the more I'm actually understanding and appreciating the time I am having with them.
My biggest hold up - what if the cars break this fall and I need to get a job whether there's one available or not? What if then I have to settle for something I'm completely not interested in and for less pay? This is what is really stressing me right now.
I strive to be a good mom, wife, homemaker, child of God, but I still feel as though I don't have all the answers and I don't have all the time I need to get the things done I should. As I played the piano at church this morning and we sang an amazing song that always is a good reminder for me, Chris Tomlin's 'Our God'. There is a line in there that says 'And if our God is for us, then who can ever stop us; And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?' It is so true, but often forgotten. I need to remember that God is always for me and always with me. Whatever the decision ends up being this week I know God will be there.
Dilemmas. They stink, but are an amazing reminder of how important it is to lean of Him.